Wine on lips and tounge

Wine on the lips

smoke on the breath

Some say they like it

some say they don't

Spring up!

An ugly person could never wear that dress

it's reserved for the emotionally brilliant

ones who will dance in it

song (eternite)

The sail has gone
the ship is strong
It reaches out to most everyone

The sail is gone
the ship is strong
It reaches out to most everyone

You're walking straight in front of me
(you know just where your going?)

We've got plans, we stick to them
('coz we know where were not going)

The sail has gone
this ship is strong
It reaches out to most
everyone

parched

barf out, barf out a new one and pour it down my wide open throat.

success?

Bright blacK

Tingles on the left

the last two fingers, scaring me.



Tingles in my toes, and only on the left are they going numb and leaving my heart racing like a boat, wanting shore.



Scratches on my neck

the back of my neck

making me scratch my temple, the one to the left

side of my eye kind of doing the same.



Hope for a warm bed tonight, eventually rolling up in a tight

tight ball.



Same t-shirt I have worn for weeks

new air i suppose\filled with cigarette smoke



keyboard covered in a dusty cloth

dusty 'coz been sitting like a rock



Is it getting grey? Like I never thought?!



Crackle from the ground is my music tonight alone with the stupidest street cars flushing out bad words like 'peace, fullness, energy and future...',



they are only ugly because WE have MADE them this way.



LET'S SHAKE THAT WAY! (vibrate off, making the skin so dry that it shed's off new light)



Talking to much causes illness, to you and the listener.



It is time to discipline myself, feel a bit of shock, a shock of cool, bright black tender petals of newness!



Because, new flowers in my room, rearranged furniture, won't be enough.



Will the tingles fade or heighten?



and, when they go, will I know?



Until then I will dream of a light blue turtleneck against a boy's skin I think about time to time, a ruckus so clean, and clothing for tomorrow.

...invitation...

Gather round, thickness of zone!,

I have chilled too long in your irrelevant throne,

Proportional bones, make peace once and for all!

I don't care how your heart beats, it lessons the truth,

when you talk to much the information gets lost

to

never

return

again.

gather round, thickness of zone

Mozzarella, avocado, tomato, plum and oil...

The sky in 5 layers or so, conjuring up feelings and heartburn.

(Women in WWII were told that when someone is dying, they are failing. I am failing she said, and then she died.)


We know when we fold, and turn wee in our beds that it is time to go out and grow a new head.


(to be continued...)

And what do they make?

When I got excited, you were thriving off of it, wide eyed and clearly with me.


When the faces were close, they shrugged, red and green swirled up to one.

Fuck, salt and pepper, is that what they called it?


I only think of you 22 and grey, crazy curls you say...?


Humidity in the room made mine go, I love my hair big.


Squint, shrug, sweaty, ball, stomach raw...

Squeeeeeeeeeeze the lemon in my acid stomach because what goes up must come down...

my

layers

are

thinning out,

and the core is a seed with no water to grow.

conversation

To forget a face has never been a problem, but to forget a ball in my stomach, it's impossible...

City

I'm going to come to you
and you're going to show me what I need to see

Lights will be different
and their replacements are going to inspire me.

I will relax
and settle finally into your streets
I will jump and leap and feel forever locked in that ease.

Are you ready?
Windows open high, inviting me
Are you ready to see my feet walking on your streets?

I'm going to turn off lights
and turn them on in brand new ways

I've had it here-

friends turning into strangers,

my apartment is getting stranger,

my cup is always low

and I feel my laugh in danger. (endangered)

Hot day

Now this feels normal;

Sitting by a fan inside a kitchen, smoking,
just cooked chicken, some stuffed with pesto and walnuts,
some with goats cheese medallions, all fried,
in a whole wheat flour batter.

My (dream) death

He pushed down
hard into the tendon
I let him take it

I blacked out
And I knew at that time
that I had upped and died

Died, dead, gone
Nothing that special

I then woke up

Eve-rey-body was in amazement and
they let me know that
I wasn't home
any-more

I got 3 children
all different colours
They set 2 of them in my lap
and I held the other in my arms
a baby, the smallest one

When I woke back up
I wanted to kill the guy who killed me
and I wanted to let everyone know

I felt happy to keep the children at first
but then I just panicked
and I thought, where are their parents?
I can't take them, well maybe just the baby...

The bears got it

I am no longer a night person, but a person of morning, mourning...(how many times has that been done)

...and each time I get up in these mornings (like this morning) I feel a re-birth, except, a re-birth cannot happen more than twice a week, thrice for me! It is unnatural.

Also,

I pretend I don't want the cold weather to come ('coz I always liked a good patch of warm sunlight on my neck) but now I welcome you Cold, like the bears nestled up in the caves for a winter.

I am tickled good, stretching more, laying low, selling my clothes, for another re-birth, one that stands still, like a shell from the beach never wanting to go back to the ocean, in slow motion, making his way up the sandy, impossible hill.

speak aloud

I need guidelines, to be elbowed, a license

I need a new heart, lungs, a mouth.


Maybe I will find them on my walk home today...


"I am strictly in this for the gold!"

(I have secretly failed all of my life)

I am not SOLD on this whole 'free loving kind of life'.

Stop throwing peace in my face, if i were anymore sensitive I would cry!

Ooh.

How is it Sunday, how is it already Sunday?

-April 2007

cherry flavored

My sickness; music and men.

It makes me sick sometimes to hear a person scream, my blood curdles with them. It makes me want to turn inside out then roll around in this cat litter mess, on this splintered floor with my mouth open and soft tongue hanging out, slightly pink, like I had been sucking cherry flavored candy all night and day waiting to say to you, (hold me or leave me) stop joking, and try to just write me.

Yesterday I saw a vampire; it was standing next to me in bed. He entered my throat and spewed out his treasures, I keep them today, but now I have fever.

When parents grow

Coughing, and noticing.


Taking the same route,


I walk.


I noticed a mother playing hackey sack in front of the post office.


I laughed, out loud.


Another single mom tagging her son around.

He has a fudge Popsicle ring around his mouth, mom holds a box, a large white box.

In my mind, she was sending it to her mother, or maybe grandmother, because she too is thinking the never noticed concrete space, today.



We used to wait, now we just go...

restoring sea salt

It was...

half relaxation,

friends and family agreeing,

tops of lids exploding,

stomachs turning,

eyes rolling backward,

humming,

memorizing,

heavy necks,

thick cuts,

a pool full of cools,

it was,

me floating on my back

feeling the sores in my mouth

not knowing which temperature my feet would hit next

It scared me

Skin like milk

Voice like silk.


2 nights ago, I lost you, walking down the road.

When head rests on shoulder I do feel closer, to you, natural, like once before.

I lead the way, for the first time, with you.

Your face is like a young man's, just with more tired eyes.

When you showed me your stomach, you sucked in, I noticed that, why?

I saw a ripple, a line divide the two.

The muscle and fat, the bones in your toes.

Soft skin is better than rough,

It is nice when you look at me in the eyes.

You fixed your hair, I noticed, with a gel or something sticky.

Your tongue is placed shortly in your mouth, I could tell.


I scared myself when I noticed my buzz kicking in, I was talking too much and revealing things I normally wouldn't let slip out, did that scare you, it scared me.

A change of pace

I wanna strum the chords inside you

I find it to hard to understand you

I wanna cross a line so badly

Only to dance in woe alone


WAVE the fan in the opposite direction
I don't wanna feel it's mock
There is almost no more affection
I don't like to talk, and talk, and talk


I wanna change the pace inside you

I wanna elbow the bad away

I held the hands of golden kings

I've helped crumble some of them too


I wanna strum the chords inside you

Disappear on clouds around you

I wanna feel the light turn on

I find it hard to understand


WAVE the fan in the opposite direction
I don't wanna fell its mock
There is almost no more affection
I don't like to talk, and talk, and talk

Silver Mountains

She's had a lot a good opportunities and some bad ones.

And everyone told her, but she felt it resonate within


She adverts her eyes to feel the same, no expression on her simple face.

Pushed aside the best people in her life, cause she had to fill the silver mountains in her eyes.

She adverts her eyes to feel the same, she exhales all of that bullshit fate.


She climbed the stairs instead of the escalator.

She wasn't thinking who would see her.

But everyone did, because her hair was black, and she wore a orange coloured hat.


She sits and orders a hot chocolate, because she had to let it sink

She couldn't bare to watch it slip away, she exhales all of that bullshit fate.

She adverts her eyes to feel the same, no expression on her simple face

I find myself staring into space, waiting for the file to upload, hearing that it is more difficult to walk backward than foward

Heat rises

All, of the time, spent with you, is rising out of her belly into her eyes, into her pillow...following her to the toilet, to her socks, off her bra, taking her ring off.

Heat rises, new force, the force, sloped eyes (that means downward) large arms (hold her tighter, tight, meaning no space in between, for once!)

Ride is the heat, in a motor vehicle. Arms wrapping around her, and his belly.

Smelling the neck and the pits, and watching him hold his hands the way he did.

Heat rises when she thinks of him, a particular shared madness and same food group, he eats her, she eats him too.

golden mystery

wow, this golden mystery

blew socks right off my feet

only discreet before moon came up, restaurant, go!

poof, no phones, distractions of you.

wanna go and dance the feeling away, because tonight, i cannot sleep.

BLACK PEPPER.


When did I get these breasts, these shaking hands, cheekbones, an appetite for hair, body odour, hands and peppered breath?

When did I take the bus, for so long, just to get out of this place, for the day, and maybe the night...

Did I clean myself mostly standing up, or lying down, with my bones, in a unnatural way.

Who did I meet along the way, and why am I going now...

harvest moon

"When we were strangers, I watched you from afar

when were lovers, I loved you with all my heart


But now it's getting late, and the moon is climbing high

I want to celebrate, and see the sun shining in your eyes"

-Neil Young

He laughed so hard

I once ran around the block with Hershey kisses in my hand.

I didn't think twice.

July

Make the grass grow
I wanna see it sprout

shoot up real nice and green
for all that new grass to be seen

Make the grass grow
I want to lie in it

have no other place to go
recognize it's ours, to touch and hold

and when she put that key inside the lock

All she had to do was slide it in, and he knew.


It was always hard to know what she was thinking


See, that's the way the whole world opened up for her-

telling secrets

and staring out patterns,

in eyes,
couches,
flowers and night

peeling away to reveal the next solid

It sounds like echoed breath

He jumped into the water,
diving right into the waves,

she cried watching him do that.

She was on the beach, kneeling,
trying to dig as far as she could into the sand

breathing really deeply,
so deeply that she almost passed out

while he was underwater with his eyes wide open

A strange exchange

Strains on a marriage

Work that couldn't get done

Introducing friends

Birthdays, laced with jealousy

Using words on purpose to hurt someone


"How did it end up this way?" her husband thought


codes

symbols

borrowed


All of that interesting work

breaking away the story

cracking parts

feeling ones body you've never

dreamt about

the stubble left all over his body

they held each other so fucking closely

that for once, she wasn't thinking


then,

they stared at each other (and she was so thankful)

to shave off the hair

and see his face, for the very first time

face tipped upward

The kind of face that had, the nose, the mouth, the chin and the cheeks, all pointing in one direction, up.

water over wine

aurora

aurora

talk despise me:

"It feels so good when you rub on my head like that"

"I know, you probably use it more than you think"

eons

Change is a funny thing to go through when you are aware of it.

This morning, heaviness is my body, my thoughts, my not wanting to do anything, except find some loose fitting clothes and listen to music, softly, in different languages...expecting the unexpected

sharing cream with someone you love busts out logic

everyone goes to the post office

Everyone goes to the post office

tall, short, romantic, stupid...

to send mail or packages to someone, at some point

bodies of a home

A boat went out in the rain again,

I am sure of it.

It took a sweet route to nowhere.


Good stories and bad jokes helped the crew to stay 'in the moment',

but the days grew longer and more strenuous on their already weary bodies.


And night,

night was the most impossible.

when skin is turned inside out

it is harder to lay on sheets

please do not smoke

You've no idea what i got today, for free no less!

It's sick, I don't even know how to look at hit
I can't touch it
It just sits there with lights and knobs a and lots of plugs

It's sick, I don't even know how to approach it
I can't touch it
It just sits there waiting for me to tap and tug

I do not want it

I cannot sell it

for the love of colour

I think that if I died now
I would die much easier knowing that I was surrounded by the colours
peach & gray
peach & gray

Today, I am in love with peach & gray

Decend

I watched outside most of the time
my head was turned to the right
I wanted to feel the decend
Keeping my eyes on the wing of the plane
see which road it hit next
see which pool it swiped away
feel each wind we passed
and watch the whole thing go down